jenna chapman

[jenna chapman]

[randommarveler]

bonus:

[jenna chapman]

[bassiter]

Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver except it’s playing from your neighbor’s radio that you can hear from your back porch, which you sit out on to relax in spite of the loud buzzing from the lightbulb and the hoards of moths that flock to it on summer evenings like this.

[vampireapologist]

This is just literally what it’s like to sit on my porch

[jenna chapman]

[stimmingboov]

Gryffindor stimboard for anon :) I hope you like it

[jenna chapman]

List of Harry Potter Spells

• Accio: Brings an object to you
• Aguamenti: Creates a gush of water from the tip of the spell caster’s wand
• Alohomora: Opens locks
• Aparecium: Makes invisible ink become visible
• Avada Kedavra: The Unforgivable Curse; Kills your opponent; taken from “Abra Cadabra”
• Avifors: Turns things into birds
• Avis: Makes birds fly out of the end of your wand
• Bombarda: Causes a small, locally contained explosion. To make a bigger explosion, one could use “bombarda maxima”
• Colloportus: Closes a door and binds it so that it can’t be opened.
• Confringo: AKA the Blasting Curse; Causes the item targeted to explode
• Confundus: Confounds your target, or makes them temporarily confused
• Conjunctivitis: Damages the eyesight of your opponent, making them seem to have pink eye
• Crucio: The Second Unforgivable Curse, the Cruciatus Curse; Tortures your opponent mercilessly
• Deletrius: Erases the last spell cast by a wand so that it can’t be discovered
• Densaugeo: Makes teeth grow out of control
• Diffindo: Makes seams split open, severs an object into two pieces
• Dissendium: Opens a specific passageway into a cellar, may be useful in other instances; may be only a password
• Duro: Turns an item to stone.
• Enervate: Mistaken spell. Changed to Rennervate. Used to wake up a stunned person
• Engorgio: Makes an item larger, as in swollen
• Episkey: Heals relatively minor wounds.
• Evanesco: Causes an item to immediately dissolve away, as if it had never existed
• Expecto Patronum: Creates Patronus
• Expelliarmus: Disarms the target of the spell, such as knocking their wand out of their hand
• Fera Verto: Transforms animals into water goblets!
• Ferula: Binds a broken limb with a splint and bandages, tightly wrapped
• Fidelius: Allows a secret to be hidden within the secret keeper’s soul; very powerful spell
• Finite Incantatem: Stops any spell
• Flagrate: Allows the user to write or draw in the air with fire
• Flipendo: Also knows as the Knockback Jinx, pushes or flips something backwards
• Furnunculus: Causes a person to break out in boils
• Geminio: Creates a duplicate of an item (a twin, as in the zodiacal sign Gemini).
• Homorphus: Man-Shape; makes a werewolf or person disguised as an animal resume their human shape
• Immobulus: Immobilizes the target
• Impedimenta: Puts up an impediment that slows down something or someone that is coming toward you
• Imperio: The third unforgivable curse. Allows the user to assume complete control of another person
• Impervius: Repels water from a surface
• Incarcerous: Conjures up ropes, which then bind an opponent
• Incendio: Lights a fire
• Legilimens: Allows the user to gain access to another’s mind and memories
• Levicorpus: Turns your opponent upside down and dangles them in thin air
• Liberacorpus: “Liberates”, or frees a body that has been caught up by the levicorpus spell
• Locomotor Mortis: The Leg-Locker Curse; locks an opponent’s legs together
• Lumos: Creates light, usually by making the tip of the wand glow. More light can be created using “lumos maxima”
• Mobiliarbus: Used to move a tree from one place to another
• Mobilicorpus: Used to move a body from one place to another
• Morsmordre: or Morsmorde Used to summon the Dark Mark
• Muffliato: Causes a buzzing noise to surround a limited area so that those in the area can carry on a private conversation
• Nox: Extinguishes light, used to douse the light created by “Lumos”
• Obliviate: Makes a person “oblivious”, erasing their memories of an event
• Orchideous: Conjures a bunch of flowers from the user’s wand
• Petrificus Totalus: Total petrification; petrifies an opponent totally
• Point Me: The Four Point Spell; makes the user’s wand act like a compass
• Portus: Turns any item into a Portkey, which can then be used to transport a person or persons to another location.
• Prior Incantato: Reveals to you the last spell that a wand was used to cast
• Protego: Protects the user, and sends a spell back on an opponent
• Quietus: Makes things quiet, used to muffle “Sonorus”
• Reducio: Shrinks an item
• Reducto: Blasts solid objects into pieces
• Relashio: Releases something from being constrained or held
• Rennervate: Was originally “ennervate”, but corrected by author; means to energize or wake up
• Reparo: Repairs broken items
• Repello: Repels something
• Repello Muggletum: Makes an area invisible to Muggles
• Revelio: Causes something that is hidden to be revealed
• Rictusempra: Causes a person to curl up in laughter, as if being tickled
• Riddikulus: Makes a boggart assume a “ridiculous” form, thereby making it funny instead of terrifying
• Salvio Hexia: Unclear; seems to strengthen other protective spells, or to deflect any hexes cast toward a specific location
• Scourgify: Used to clean dirt or other material off of a surface
• Sectumsempra: Causes lacerations to appear all over an opponent’s body, as if they had been cut by an invisible sword
• Serpensortia: Conjures a snake
• Silencio: Makes the target of the spell unable to make any sound.
• Sonorus: Amplifies the user’s voice
• Stupefy Stupefies an opponent, or knocks them insensible temporarily
• Tarantallegra: Forces an opponent’s legs to dance uncontrollably
• Tergeo: Scours something clean
• Waddiwasi: Removes a stuck object, as in a wad of gum that is stuck in a keyhole
• Wingardium Leviosa: Allows the user to make an object levitate

[jenna chapman]

[assbanditkirk]

whoa canada

someone needs to turn down that sass level

[truthandglory]

Two things to know about Canada!

1. We are smart enough to know hot things should be hot.
2. We are sorry if you don’t

[johnlockinthetardiswithdestiel]

fun story about the reason they do that (at least in America)

once this lady spilled her McDonald’s coffee on herself and ended up getting like 3rd degree burns and since there was no warning on the cup she was able to claim she didn’t know it would be hot (or at least that hot) and won a lawsuit against McDonald’s for $1 million

[prokopetz]

That’s what the media smear campaign against her would have you believe, anyway. The truth of the matter is that the McDonald’s in question had previously been cited - on at least two separate occasions - for keeping their coffee so hot that it violated local occupational health and safety regulations. The lady didn’t win her lawsuit because American courts are stupid; she won it because the McDonald’s she bought that coffee from was actively and knowingly breaking the law with respect to the temperature of its coffee at the time of the incident.

(I mean, do you have any idea what a third-degree burn actually is? Third-degree burns involve “full thickness” tissue damage; we’re talking bone-deep, with possible destruction of tissue. Can you even imagine how hot that cup of coffee would have to have been to inflict that kind of damage in the few seconds it was in contact with her skin?)

[bogleech]

Yeah I’m tired of people joking about either the “stupid” woman who didn’t know coffee was hot or the “greedy” woman making up bullshit to get money.

She was hideously injured by hideous irresponsibility, it was an absolutely legitimate lawsuit and the warning on the cups basically allows McDonalds to claim no responsibility even if it happens again. Every other company followed suit to cover their asses.

So they can still legally serve you something that could sear off the end of your tongue or permanently demolish the front of your gums and just give you a big fat middle finger in court. “The label SAID it would be HOT, STUPID.”

[commanderbishoujo]

obligatory reblog for the great debunking of the usual ignorance spouted about this case

obligatory mention that the media smear campaign to twist teh facts on this case and get public opinion against the victim was deliberate and fueled by the right wing tort reform movement

it was seized upon to limit the rights of consumers to hold giant corporations accountable for wrongdoing

watch the documentary Hot Coffee, it lays out all of the facts and examines the response to this case and explains why everything you think you know about this case is bullshit, and explains why tort reform is bullshit in an entertaining and informative manner

[charlienight]

The woman injured in Liebeck v. McDonald’s Restaurants was 79 years old at the time of her injuries, and suffered third-degree burns to the pelvic region (including her thighs, buttocks, and groin), which in combination with lesser burns in the surrounding regions caused damage to an area totaling a whopping 22% of her body’s surface. These injuries that required two years of intensive medical care, including multiple skin grafts; during her hospitalization, Stella Liebeck lost around 20% of her starting body weight.

She was uninsured and sued McDonald’s Restaurants for the cost of her past and projected future medical care, an estimated $20,000. The corporation offered a settlement of $800, a number so obviously ridiculous that I’m not even going to dignify it with any further explanation.

The settlement number most often quoted is not the amount that the corporation actually paid; the jury in the first trial suggested a payment equal to a day or two of coffee revenues for McDonald’s, which at the time totaled more than $1 million per diem. The judge reduced the required payout to around $640,000 in both compensatory and punitive damages, and the case was later settled out of court for less than $600,000.

Keep in mind that at the time, McDonald’s already had over 700 cases of complaints about coffee-related burns on file, but continued to sell coffee heated to nearly 200 degrees Fahrenheit (around 90 degrees Celsius) as a means of boosting sales (their selling point was that one could buy the coffee, drive to a second location such as work or home, and still have a piping hot beverage). This in spite of the fact that most restaurants serve coffee between 140 and 160 degrees Fahrenheit (60 to 71 degrees Celsius), and many coffee experts agree that such high temperatures are desirable only during the brewing process itself.

The Liebeck case was absolutely not an example of litigation-happy Americans expecting corporations to cover their asses for their own stupidity, but we seem determined to remember it that way. It’s an issue of liability, and the allowable lengths of capitalism, and even of the way in which our society is incredibly dangerous for and punitive towards the uninsured, but it was not and is not a frivolous suit. Please check your assumptions and do your research before you turn a burn victim’s suffering into a throwaway punchline.

[kevinrfree]

#don’t fricking get me started on Liebeck v. McDonald’s Restaurants the level of misinformation floating around is staggering#I know that it’s an older case but it still makes me really mad that people treat it as this big dumb thing?#the fact that the media took a serious case and turned it into what it is to us today should piss people off#the level of distortion of facts is astonishing and upsetting and nobody seems to hear about it?#sorry I’m done I just#it upsets me when a legal travesty like this is just dragged out for some#’haha americans are sOOOOOOOo dumb!!1!’ humor#I MEAN GODDAMN IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF AMERICANS AT LEAST MAKE FUN OF US WITH FACTS OKAY

[bregma]

jesus, i actually didn’t know about any of this, thanks for clearing that up

[okayto]

Liebeck v. McDonald’s Restaurants at the American Museum of Tort Law

The McDonald’s Hot Coffee Case: Know the Facts at Consumer Attorneys of California

[jenna chapman]

[thespacemaid]

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer
- sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[topsiders-tanlines]

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

[dear-tumb1r]

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

[former-fatty]

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

[frowningfoxbones]

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

[dragoncatkhfan]

If you want a firmer pumpkin for detailed carving stick it in a bathtub full of cold water over night. If you want to make it last longer throw in a cap or two of bleach while you’re at it.

[jenna chapman]

[4gifs]

Cuttlefish pretending to be a hermit crab

[nalnpraks]

@mmmskulljuice

[mmmskulljuice]

look they were both being crabs thinking the other was a crab!!

[stumpybelham]

“am crab.”

“am also crab–wait a minute”

“…YOOOOOOOOOOO”

“YOOOOOOOOOOOO”

[coelasquid]

“Same crab!”
“Same crab!”

[disgustinganimals]

makes you wonder if there are any actual crabs out there or if it’s all a big lie put forth by Big Cephalopod

[jenna chapman]

[foleyisgod]

“Stand back, kid.”

[obscuruslupa]

amazing

[ladygolem]

chaotic good

[shapeshiftinterest]

HE JUST BREAKS THE FUCKING GLASS AND GIVES THE KID THE TOYS

I like how he tried to win one first

[jenna chapman]

[hoodoo-hoodlum]

I’m so mad because this worked

[britney2007spears]

help me roger

[telanu]

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

[luthienebonyx]

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

[riskpig]

………my friend has made me curious

[maryburgers]

help me roger

[maryburgers]

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

[hermes-whore]

let’s do it, roger

[spitefulreality]

Roger helppppp

[curvycorinneranga]

I need you Roger!

[thaebae]

ROGER PLEASE

[jenna chapman]

[pleatedjeans]

Three cheers for these guys [x]

[blackphoenix1977]

This is how to be a good ally.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Using their Bro-ness for good, not evil

[ladyflowdi]

So a tiny story: on Black Friday a few weeks ago I went to Gamestop to buy my brother a game for Christmas, and I noticed this older man was watching me like a hawk. He was loitering around the front of the store without really buying anything, and every time I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye he was looking at me. I went to look at the PS4 games, and he was looking at something right behind me. I checked out the Nintendo games, and he was looking at them too. I was the only woman in the store, by the way.

By the time I got in line to pay he was loitering at the front of the store again, and I just had that feeling that he was going to try and take the game I just bought, or steal my purse, as soon as I left the store. OR, he was going to try and follow me home. And I know I don’t have to explain that terror to any woman reading this, but all I could think was that I’m in this Gamestop alone with at least twenty other men and something is about to happen. I’m beginning to freak out, to the point where I’ve just pulled my pepper spray out of my purse and into the pocket of my coat. 

So there I am, next in line to pay, and there is this GIGANTIC dudebro right behind me, and I say gigantic as a 6 foot tall woman. He says, “Ma’am? Don’t be offended, but would it be alright if I walked you to your car?” and I was like “Are you serious?” and he was like “There are some weird guys in here right now. Have you noticed that guy watching you?” and then I showed the dudebro the pepper spray in my pocket and he was like “Right on. Would you still let me walk you to your car?” and I said yes.

So I paid, and waited while HE paid, and he walked me to my car. And just as I was getting in, the weird guy who’d been loitering came out of the store, saw me and my dudebro, and turned around and walked away in the opposite direction. 

In short: men who recognize that women are unsafe in dark alleys, college campuses, grocery stores, gas stations and retail stores and do something about it are the kind of quality men that this world needs more of.

[yuuri-katsuki-on-ice]

Please for the love of god yes.

[lipsredasroses]

My friend left class before I did. My friend is a 6+ft and 250+ lbs. So he’s not tiny guy. I ended up calling him and had him come back to the building our class was in and walk me to my car. It was 10 oclock at night and I just hated walking around campus by myself at night. I always felt safer with him around since I did have friends who were assaulted on campus. He didn’t even think anything about coming back.